Sister and I set out on our First Annual Sister's Trip to conquer the wild/desolation of Southern Utah. We slept under the stars, cooked over an open fire, even shaved in a lake (we went to a play on our way back and had to be mildly presentable). We're such brave amazon women.
Oh, wait . . . just my sister is. I'm a pansy. I broke my toe. Slept with a blanket on my head as safety barrier against . . . well, I didn't let my imagination think of what I actually needed safety from. Oh, and I had to learn how to pee outside . . . well, I finally learned how to effectively relieve myself, how did it take 23 years to figure out how to not pee on myself?
Not peeing on myself, leads me to the next part of the trip where Sister was an amazon woman and I was a pansy. We were hiking along and suddenly heard the rattle of a rattle snake. I did the most evolutionary advanced survival tactic I could think of and froze in panic. Sister hikes all the time and one time almost sat on a rattler, so she fearlessly got a stick to warn Rattler that we were there and that he should probably move on. I remained extremely helpful playing adrenaline freeze tag. Sister told me it was gone and we could continue. I wanted to show Sister that I could be brave, but to do that I would have to walk pass where the snake had been. Thought started to return, but not complete logic. I couldn't walk past the snake spot. Finally I told Sister that she would have to come back and get me. She did. Sister walked back 15 feet to me (yes, I was 15 feet away from Rattler) to hold my hand as we walked past the danger zone. I did not show Sister that I could be brave, I showed her that I can be 4.
Sister is an amazon woman and understands that I am not and doesn't care. She says we can have another annual sister trip.
Later I thought of how grateful I was to learn how to pee outside before I met Rattler. Otherwise I would've peed my pants, which is never helpful. Peeing your pants is less helpful than playing adrenaline freeze tag. Especially if Rattler comes back while changing your pants! Running away from a creature fitting for a horror flick with your pants down = bad. It'd be like running away if you were a mermaid :
But, then I realized that if you were a mermaid in the desert, running away from a snake would probably be the least of your problems. Regardless, I'm grateful I didn't have to take flight with my pants down or as a mermaid.
Look, mermaid me has a purple streak.
I remembered this whole story while Friend and I were drawing others as animals. Friend drew me as a snake.
Little did he know of my fear of snakes. Oddly accurate though: big head, little neck.
Oh, wait . . . just my sister is. I'm a pansy. I broke my toe. Slept with a blanket on my head as safety barrier against . . . well, I didn't let my imagination think of what I actually needed safety from. Oh, and I had to learn how to pee outside . . . well, I finally learned how to effectively relieve myself, how did it take 23 years to figure out how to not pee on myself?
Not peeing on myself, leads me to the next part of the trip where Sister was an amazon woman and I was a pansy. We were hiking along and suddenly heard the rattle of a rattle snake. I did the most evolutionary advanced survival tactic I could think of and froze in panic. Sister hikes all the time and one time almost sat on a rattler, so she fearlessly got a stick to warn Rattler that we were there and that he should probably move on. I remained extremely helpful playing adrenaline freeze tag. Sister told me it was gone and we could continue. I wanted to show Sister that I could be brave, but to do that I would have to walk pass where the snake had been. Thought started to return, but not complete logic. I couldn't walk past the snake spot. Finally I told Sister that she would have to come back and get me. She did. Sister walked back 15 feet to me (yes, I was 15 feet away from Rattler) to hold my hand as we walked past the danger zone. I did not show Sister that I could be brave, I showed her that I can be 4.
Sister is an amazon woman and understands that I am not and doesn't care. She says we can have another annual sister trip.
Later I thought of how grateful I was to learn how to pee outside before I met Rattler. Otherwise I would've peed my pants, which is never helpful. Peeing your pants is less helpful than playing adrenaline freeze tag. Especially if Rattler comes back while changing your pants! Running away from a creature fitting for a horror flick with your pants down = bad. It'd be like running away if you were a mermaid :
But, then I realized that if you were a mermaid in the desert, running away from a snake would probably be the least of your problems. Regardless, I'm grateful I didn't have to take flight with my pants down or as a mermaid.Look, mermaid me has a purple streak.
I remembered this whole story while Friend and I were drawing others as animals. Friend drew me as a snake.
Little did he know of my fear of snakes. Oddly accurate though: big head, little neck.
I like mermaids. (-_-)???? What the...???!!! but urination takes it to a whole new...world. (-_-) > You.
ReplyDeletewould it be bad for me to admit what I thought the second picture was when i first scrolled down the page?
ReplyDelete