This is my story of a how a Sneaky Hate Spiral sneaked up on me. So sneaky.
9:00am: I wake up. That's how hate spirals always start, all nonchalant and ordinary. I wake up startled by the alarm on my phone...the same alarm that I've used for months, but this morning it put into a state of alarm (ewww...accidental pun) that is usually reserved for when I'm being chased by a pack of wolves. I went from REM to preparing to flee or fight for my life in .01 seconds.
Adrenaline still pulsating I realize that I had been sleeping with my arms over my head. Arms over head = driftwood attached to your body that once you moved start to hurt and you realize that it's not driftwood but sleeping sea monsters that you've now awoken. As I moved my arms they did turn into sea monsters and one hit me in the face. Annoying. No one to blame.
I try to get out of bed only to realize that I apparently had a wild night of fighting zombies with a nerf gun and getting stuck in the sewers in a river of goo and saving myself from the devil and his demons...all important amazon woman feats, but now I'm awake and stuck on a sheet island in the middle of my mattress and terminally twistedly stuck. Perhaps my mistake was with waking up. I decide to go back to zombie's and try again in an hour...only now my sheet island is shrinking around me and I'm forced to abandon my strong hold.
I trip out of bed (the sheets had their hold...or perhaps it was a lingering zombie). The drawer under my bed is open...annoying. Do I step in it? Do I trip on it? Do I run into it? No. It just confuses me more than I can handle after the morning I've had (all 45 seconds of it).
I walk to the bathroom. I can tell that I am a vision. My pants are twisted (not surprising!) and I try to straighten them but turn them the wrong way. This makes me feel dumb.
I go to use the toilet and forget that our toilet seat is broken...I was reminded real quick. I was so shaken that I got up and didn't realize until 15 minutes later that I never actually relieved myself.
I look in the mirror to a bedhead monster. Imagine a lion mane with a cowlick. Or maybe just a lion. Mane in front and butt in back. I think maybe I fought the devil's demons with my head. At this point I become aware that now that I'm awake I need to get ready for the day...I am not adequately prepared for the extensive amount of damage control necessary to look good...er, normal...okay, to not scare little children. Cause at this point I look like a meth addict in the later stages of addiction and if you saw me in the store you would for sure hold your children close.
After this morning (that has been 5 minutes long) I feel ready to karate chop everything and throw a tantrum like a 5 year old (5 year olds know better than to throw tantrums, so when they do they make it big!).
I go eat breakfast and get the crumbs from the bottom of the cereal bag. The crumbs make my cereal more like mushy oatmeal than the texture/taste sensation I planned. The crumbs soak up the milk, which makes me have more milk than I can have.
I go back to my room and see my bed. All I can think is: BLAST!
The clothing combination I want isn't all clean. I try a different outfit. Also not all clean. Realize that I have the finally succumb to the overwhelming need to do laundry. Feels like getting kicked when you're already down...kicked in the head.
Turn on my computer to listen to music while I get ready and let Kanye soothe my bad morning...computer decided to update right then.
Dang cosmos being against me!
9:35am. Oh you sneaky Sneaky Hate Spiral...you attacked my when my guard was down! And now I have to go on with the rest of my day!
It's windy outside. Not helping the rage.
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