97 unknowns

I will be 30 weeks in a few days. Wait. What? That can't be right....I think I need to lie down.

I am in planning mode. Planning is my nesting mode. We’ll be moving right after baby, so I can’t really nest. Only one huge problem…there are too many unknowns. And it’s keeping me up at night! That might also be the combined efforts of a kicking baby and a snuggling dog.

I really could come up with 97 unknowns, y’know. Easy. But I’ll spare you. I would start listing unknowns like ‘what’s for dinner tonight’ – which Husband might argue is the most important/currently relevant unknown.

I have to move with a six week old baby. I don’t have a moving date because it’s 100% dependent upon when Wade decides to make his debut. Everyone keeps asking what the plan is and I make a simple answer and act like I’m good with going with the flow – all flower-power-hippie. On the inside I’m running through all the different scenario like a choose your own adventure novel. And then it hits me that reality will likely be a scenario I didn’t come up with. So then I think of more options. Cause that’s a good thing to do at 3 am.

I think about flying with an infant. Orchestrating the loading of our moving trailer. Are my parents helping? Will the weather be good (it will be January)? When should we sell our couches? Our TV? What if Wade come early December? Christmas week? What are our options if he comes Thanksgiving week? How will Stella dog react (pretty sure she’s going to have some first sibling issues).

Then I think about packing. I’m an organized packer. Very organized. I pack and unpack boxes so the things inside fit ideally and make sense to be packed together. I’m starting now since I won’t be as up to it with a newborn. This opens up a whole new branch of planning. When should I pack this? And that? Can I just jump to my Christmas décor and pack everything else up? Poor Husband all too frequently asks me for something to discover that it’s packed. But don’t worry, I know exactly where it is. But then I open that box and realize there is a better way to pack it….oh vey!

Husband lets me be crazy, cause sometimes you need to hold onto the crazy to hold onto your sanity. I need to feel in control…between bathroom breaks.

I can’t comprehend having a baby. I don’t really know how to prepare. People give all sorts of advice, like with every life change, but my mind can’t really wrap around it. At times I don’t even know how to feel, so I pack something. I think it’s an okay coping mechanism. At least when it comes to unpacking our house I’ll know what’s in each box. I also know, amidst my crazy, that it’ll all be okay. Whatever scenario that play out in reality will be great and I’ll be able to roll with it…like a hippie.

  

What stressed you out as you moved closer to something big and life-changing?